Setting boundaries during divorce communication
Divorce and separation in England and Wales can be emotionally challenging, especially when communication feels constant, overwhelming, or distressing. Many people are unaware that they can set boundaries around how and when they receive updates whether they are working with a family law solicitor, acting in a DIY divorce, or communicating directly with their ex-partner.
Words matter. The timing, tone, and delivery of legal or emotionally charged information can significantly affect mental health, anxiety levels, and overall wellbeing during a divorce.
Why communication can be so difficult during divorce…
People often seek guidance on:
How do I get divorced in the UK?
Do I need a divorce solicitor or lawyer near me?
Can I get a cheap or quick divorce?
What happens with child custody and child maintenance?
But what’s often overlooked is how communication itself can impact wellbeing, particularly when discussions involve:
child arrangements orders
child custody and parental responsibility
financial settlements in divorce
spousal maintenance or pension sharing
coercive control, financial abuse, or narcissistic behaviour
Even routine solicitor letters or emails can feel threatening or upsetting especially when legal jargon is involved, which is where my services can help break this down and filter through the noise for you.
Setting boundaries with your Solicitor (or without one)
If you are working with a divorce solicitor or family law solicitor, you can discuss:
how often you receive updates,
whether updates are sent by email, phone call, or message,
what time of day you are contacted,
and which matters are urgent versus administrative.
Some people prefer not to receive sensitive updates late in the day or on a Friday afternoon, particularly if the issue relates to child contact, financial offers, or conflict.
The same applies if you are:
acting in person in a DIY divorce,
dealing with a solicitor instructed by your ex,
or communicating directly with your soon-to-be-ex (STBX).
Boundaries are not about avoidance they are about protecting your emotional wellbeing and reducing unnecessary stress.
Children, contact and child maintenance
Communication becomes even more difficult when children are involved. Parents often worry about:
Can my ex stop me seeing my children?
Who gets custody of the children after separation?
What is Cafcass and how does it work?
How is child maintenance calculated (CMS/CSA)?
Clear, calm, focused communication helps reduce conflict and supports better outcomes for children. It also helps avoid tit-for-tat exchanges that increase anxiety and delay progress.
Avoiding unnecessary conflict
Not every sentence in a solicitor’s letter requires a response. Not every emotional comment needs engagement. Learning how to:
identify what is legally relevant,
focus on what moves the case forward,
and ignore language that is inflammatory or irrelevant,
can help prevent escalation in cases involving parental alienation, non-molestation orders, or controlling and coercive behaviour.
Protecting your wellbeing during divorce
Divorce is not just a legal process it is a personal one. Whether you are seeking family law advice near you, considering mediation, or managing separation independently, protecting your mental health matters.
Setting boundaries around communication is a powerful, practical step that can help you feel:
more in control,
less anxious,
better informed,
and emotionally supported.
You don’t have to navigate divorce communication alone and you are allowed to do it in a way that works for you.
Contact Kirsten today to take your first steps .